


The heart asks pleasure first

by FPwoper



Series: Drabbles from long ago [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 13:49:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11232300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FPwoper/pseuds/FPwoper
Summary: Dean wants to leave Castiel but the sea prevents that – in a way.





	The heart asks pleasure first

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song _The Heart Asks Pleasure First_.  
>  I'm going to remove my dA account - that's where this comes form. It's from long ago. Defs not beta'd.

Dean looked back at the sleeping form of Castiel. Of course he felt regret. Of course he knew Castiel would be heartbroken. Of course he knew revenge – both angelic and brotherly – would be a bitch. _Of course_   he knew he would ruin his relationship with the whole big cruel world.  
He just didn't know what to do anymore. He only hoped Castiel wouldn't wake before he was gone.  
God... he knew he was going to miss Castiel's ocean blue eyes, his fluffy I-just-woke-up-hair, his low, rumbling voice. Yes, it would be hard but it was definitely worth it.  
As Dean left the room and stepped out onto the porch of the small but cozy house he'd bought for Castiel – and Sam, if his brother ever wanted to settle -, he smelled the ocean. The ocean was close, only a mile or so away. It was one of the places both Castiel and Dean cherished for their happy memories. Every time Dean looked into Castiel's eyes he remembered it at once...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
 _"Come on, Dean," Castiel pulled Dean towards the door of their motel room. Dean, having only just been woken by Castiel, let himself be dragged outside._  
"What is it you want me to show, Cas?" Dean sleepily asked. "It's midnight!"  
"I know," Castiel replied with a smile, and kissed Dean. "The sea is beautiful now."  
They walked towards the beach, Dean being more wake with every step he took. Castiel's enthusiasm was infectious and Dean felt his heart open to him once more.  
Reaching the shore made Castiel break down. Dean didn't know what triggered Castiel's eyes to overflow but suddenly he had his arms full of crying boyfriend.  
"Hush, Castiel," Dean muttered and tried to calm his lover, but to no avail. "What... Can I help, Cas? Tell me why you are crying, my dear."  
Castiel sniffled and said: "Don't you ever believe in the world as you wish it to be?"  
"Eh..." Dean thought for a few seconds. "That's philosophical, Cas."  
"Just answer, Dean."  
Dean sighed. "I don't think so. I... I never believe in the world I want. If I believed in and imagined that world, I would be disappointed." He sighed again. "I wouldn't be able to live in that world," he whispered pained.  
Castiel had just stopped crying and was drying his eyes when Dean's words hit him. He took Dean in his arms now and tried to soothe Dean's broken spirit. Dean relaxed a little and they let go of each other to stare in the other's eyes, finding only love and support there.  
As one they lunged forward and their lips met in the middle, slow and lovingly as they knew they needed at that moment.  
"You are in the world you want, Dean," Castiel whispered against Dean's lips when they finally broke for oxygen.  
Dean nodded. "It's  not utopia, Cas," he answered just as quietly, and put a finger to Castiel's lips when he wanted to speak, and continued, "but it makes me happy."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Dean was hit by the memory and found he couldn't move an inch. They had been on a holiday when Castiel mentioned the world and Dean had confessed to being happy with him. The sea had been near and it made Castiel almost hyperactive.  
Why did he want to leave again? He couldn't quite remember his reasons. Perhaps he was selfish or self-conscious... he just didn't know anymore.  
With tears flowing from his eyes he made his way back inside and crept into bed with Castiel again. Leaving was just such a stupid idea.


End file.
